A husband and wife are having a friendly debate one night, centered on the topic of who has better friends.
They each offer a wide variety of anecdotes and stories, but in the end, they decide to put it to the test.
“Here’s what we’ll do,” the wife suggests. “I’ll call your friends, and you call mine. We’ll both pretend that the other person hasn’t come home yet, and that we’re worried. Whoever’s friends give the best advice about where to find us clearly know us better, and therefore are better.”
The husband agrees to the game, and they both head off into separate rooms. When they reconvene a half an hour later, the husband looks defeated.
“Well, honey,” he says, “I think it’s pretty clear that you have better friends. Every one of them listed each of your favorite restaurants, salons, shops, and art galleries, and they had phone numbers for each of them. They knew your work hours by heart, your office extension, your boss’s name, and even the route that you take home.”
The wife shakes her head. “No, dear,” she replies, “you have better friends.”
“Why do you say that?” asks the husband.
“Well,” the wife replies, “most of them said that you’d been at their place, and three of them said that you were still there.”
Maria and Julia were old friends.
They had in fact they had been friends for many years and both of them have been married to their husbands for a very long time.
One day, Julia went to visit Maria and confided in her that she was upset because she thought her husband didn’t find her attractive any more.
“As I get older he doesn’t bother to look at me”, Julia cried on her best friend Maria’s shoulder.
“I’m so sorry for you”, Maria said. “As I get older, my husband says that I get more beautiful every day”.
“Of course he does”, Julia answered, “your husband is an antique dealer!”
A man says to his friend,
“I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.”
The friend says, “Why not?”
The man says, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”
