A man sitting at a bar after work shares with the bartender why he is looking so stressed,
“I’m not sleeping well. I have nightmares about a monster under my bed and I am too embarrassed to seek help.”
A patron nearby overhears this and introduces himself, “I overheard your story and I am a psychiatrist. Maybe I can help. The first thing is you recognize these are only dreams, and that is obvious so I should be able to help you in a few sessions. Here’s my card, give me a call.”
A few weeks pass and the same two are once again at the bar after work. The psychiatrist says to the other guy, “Hi, how goes the nightmares? I never heard from you so I hope you are doing okay.”
The other guy says, “things are great, the bartender helped me.”
Psychiatrist, “the bartender helped you? You needed a trained professional to help you, what possibly could a bartender do that a psychiatrist couldn’t?”
The other guy says, “he told me to saw the legs off my bed.”
A well dressed lawyer went into a bar for a martini and found himself beside a scrungy-looking drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand.
The attorney leaned closer while the drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, “Well, it looks like plastic.”
Then he rolled it between his fingers adding, “But it feels like rubber.”
Curious, the lawyer asked, “What do you have there mister?”
The drunk stammered, “Damn if I know, but it looks like plastic and feels like rubber.”
The lawyer said, “Let me take a look.”
And the drunk handed it over. The attorney rolled it between his thumb and fingers, then examined it closely.
“Yeah, it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, but I don’t know what it is. Where did you get it anyway?”
The drunk replied, “Out of my nose.”
