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Welfare Blonde

A blonde girl goes to the city hall to register for welfare benefits. “How many children do you have?” asks the council worker.

“15” replies the blonde girl.

“15???” the council worker says.

“What are their names?” “Mary, Mary, Mary, ….. and Mary

“Doesn’t that get confusing?”

“Naah…” says the blonde girl “it’s great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout Mary, YER DINNER’S READY or Mary GO TO BED NOW and they all do it…”

“What if you want to speak to one individually?” says the perturbed council worker.

…..

….

“That’s easy,” says the girl… “I just use their surnames”

Christmas Joke: A little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap

As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, he asked her the usual question, “And what would you like for Christmas?”

..

.

The child stared at him open-mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, “Didn’t you get my text?”

 

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