Two doctors are in front of their clinic about to go in when they see a man hobbling down the street towards them.

The first doctor says, “I bet that poor chap is suffering from a hernia.”

“No no”, replies the other doctor, “Clearly he has a knee problem.”

When the hobbling man is about to pass them , one of the doctors says, “We have a bet, hernia or knee?”

“You’re both wrong, and I’m wrong” cried the hobbling man, “I thought it was a fart”

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Doctor Simon is known throughout London as one of the best consultants on arthritis.

He always has a waiting room full of people who need his advice and specialist treatment.

One day, an elderly lady, slowly struggles into his waiting room. She is completely bent over and leans heavily on her walking stick. A chair is found for her. Eventually, her turn comes to go into Doctor Simon’s office.

15 minutes later, to everyone’s surprise, she comes briskly out of his room walking almost upright. She is holding her head high and has a smile on her face.

A woman in the waiting room says, “It’s unbelievable, a miracle even. You walk in bent in half and now you walk out erect. What a fantastic doctor he is. Tell me, what did Doctor Simon do to you?”

“Miracle, shmiracle, he just gave me a longer walking stick.”

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A blonde brought her baby to a doctor.

After examining, the doctor right away determined that the baby had an earache. He wrote a prescription for eardrops.

In the directions he wrote, “Put two drops in right ear every four hours” and he abbreviated “right” as an R with a circle around it.

Several days passed, and the blonde returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil.

The doctor looked at the bottle of eardrops and sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the following instructions on the label:

Put two drops in R ear every four hours.

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For years Frank’s knees or elbows would start to ache at 8:50am and 8:50pm.

At first he thought nothing of it….he was getting older and he figured it was all part of aging.

After about 5 years Frank got concerned and starting seeing doctor after doctor trying to figure out what what was causing it. Desperate he started looking to alternative medicine…no help…he started seeing doctors running pill mills…no help. The pain would come back twice a day every day.

At his wits’ end he goes and sees a doctor in a filthy clinic. This doctor had been suspended many times, sued and lost every lawsuit, but Frank was losing hope for a diagnosis.

Sitting on an exam table in a thin paper exam gown, Frank tells the sleazy doctor.. “Every day, every day at 8:50 I’m in pain….the best doctors in the state cannot figure out what the cause is.”

The sleazy doctor sitting there in his stained lab coat….filter-less cigarette dangling from his mouth looks up and down at Frank and finally says: “It’s simple. You have ten-to-ninetis.”