A drunk was sitting in a bar looking at three small brown pellets in his hand.
The bartender asked what they were, and the drunk replied “They are brain pills they make you smart.”
The bartender says excitedly, “Give me one.”
He snatches one from the drunks hand, and gulps it quickly down with water.
In a few minutes he comes back over to the drunk and says he doesn’t feel any smarter.
“You probably didn’t take enough.”
So the bartender quickly gulps down another one.
Half an hour later the bartender asks for a third pill.
This one he looks at with more care.
He sniffs it and tastes it slowly.
“Why, this is nothing but sheep manure!”
…
..
.
“See,” says the drunk, “you’re getting smarter already.”
=========================================
A new lumberjack
A large, well-established, lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his axe and knocked on the head lumberjack’s door.
The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to leave.
“Just give me a chance to show you what I can do,” said the skinny man.
“Okay, see that giant redwood over there?” said the lumberjack. “Take your axe and go cut it down.”
The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack’s door.
“I cut the tree down,” said the man.
The lumberjack couldn’t believe his eyes and said: “Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?”
“In the Sahara Forest,” replied the man.
“You mean the Sahara Desert,” said the lumberjack.
…
..
.
The little man laughed and answered back: “Sure, that’s what they call it NOW!”