A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him up at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM .” He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious , he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM, Wake up.”
A husband and wife are sitting on the couch watching TV.
The wife looks at the husband and he is staring at the ceiling above her head, she looks up and asks, “What are you staring at?”
“A spider,” he replies.
“I don’t see anything,” she says.
“Oh, it must have fallen on your head,” he said calmly.
The wife jumps up screaming…
The man says, “While you’re up, can you get me another drink?”
A woman calls her husband at work.
Him: “I’m sorry dear but I’m up to my neck in work today.”
Her: “But I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you dear.”
Him: “OK darling, but as I’ve got no time now, just give me the good news.”
Her: “Well, the air bag works.”
A bricklayer at my husbands construction job routinely complained about the contents of his lunch box.
“I’m sick and tired of getting the same old thing!” he shouted one day. “Tonight I’ll set my wife straight.”
The next day the men could hardly wait until lunch time to hear what happened.
“You bet I told her off,” the bricklayer boasted. “I said, ‘No more of the same old stuff. Be creative!’ We had one heck of a fight, but I got my point across.”
He had indeed. In front of an admiring audience, he opened his lunch box to find that his wife had packed a coconut- and a hammer.
