A man was in an airplane, and waiting for the men’s room to be free.
After half an hour, he asked a flight attendent if he could use the lady’s restroom. The women said yes but told him not to touch to the buttons on the wall.
He then went in the cabin. On the wall next to him were for buttons. He couldn’t resist and pressed on the first one. Water started spraying from the toilet, cleaning his ass. He was so amazed by that, that he pushed on the second button. Then it was hot air that came out of the toilet, drying his ass. Astonished by that cool technology, he pressed on the third button. Powder popped out, leaving his buttocks soft and smelling good.
He finally looked at the last button. The letters A.T.R. were inscribed on it. Without even asking himself what it ment, he pressed on it.
The next thing he knew, he was in a hospital, surrounded by doctors and nurses. His waist war wrapped in a tissue and there was blood everywhere. He looked at one of the doctors and asked him what happened.
The doctor told him that he pressed on the A.T.R. button. The man asked him what it standed for. The doctor ansewred: “Automatic Tampon Remover.”
A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said:
“Let’s talk, I am sure that flights are faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The little girl who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and asked the stranger, “What would you like to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know”, said the stranger.
“How about n.u.clear power?” The girl asked.
“Ok,” he said “That could be an interesting topic!”
The girl continues: “But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”
“The stranger thinks about it and says: “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the little girl replies: “Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know s.hit?”
There were five people aboard an airplane that was experiencing engine trouble and about to crash.
The problem? There were only four parachutes.
As everyone tried to figure out who should get the parachutes, the first person stood up and said, “I’m the smartest person to ever walk the Earth. The world cannot afford to lose me.” Without waiting for a response, he grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.
The second person said, “I’m a mother, and my family depends on me. I can’t let them down.” She quickly took a parachute and leapt out as well.
The third person declared, “I’m the head of my household and the sole breadwinner. My family’s survival depends on me.” With that, he grabbed a parachute and jumped too.
Now, only two people remained: a 65-year-old man and a 12-year-old boy.
The old man turned to the boy and said, “Son, I’ve lived a full life. You’re young and have your whole future ahead of you. You take the last parachute.”
The boy looked at him and smiled. “Don’t worry, Sir. There are still two parachutes left.”
The old man was puzzled. “How’s that possible?”
The boy chuckled and said, “Well, the guy who thought he was the smartest person on Earth? He grabbed my backpack.”
