Sam and his wife Rachel were playing golf at the club when she drove a 300 yard tee shot straight down the fairway.
Sam said, ‘Wow I have never seen you play this well before!’
‘I took lessons.’ Says Rachel.
A couple of days later on the tennis court in mixed doubles, she smashes her serves and never misses a point. Sam said to her: ‘Wow I have never seen you hit so well before!’
‘I took lessons.’ Says Rachel.
On the weekend they settled into a nice dinner at home. Rachel brings out the perfect plates of Beef Wellington and Sam says, ‘Delicious! I have never seen you cook like this before!’
‘I took lessons.’ Says Rachel.
After dinner she gives him THAT look and they go upstairs.
About 30 minutes later Sam rolls over and says ‘Wow! That was incredible, amazing, so hot… I want a divorce.’
Several men are sitting around in the locker room of a golf club.
After a round, showering, and getting changed for the 19th hole.
Suddenly a mobile phone on one of the benches rings.
One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:
(H – Husband, W – Wife)
H – “Hello?”
W – “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
H – “Yes.”
W – “Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful leather coat. It’s gorgeous!! Can I buy it?”
H – “What’s the price?”
W – “Only $1,000.”
H – “Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much…”
W – “Ah, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2019 models. I saw one I liked. It’s a SLK model. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price. And since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year…”
H – “What price did he quote you?”
W – “Only $1,65,000…”
H – “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”
W – “Great! But before we hang up, something else…”
H – “What?”
W – “It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It’s for sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English garden, acre of park area, beachfront property.”
H – “How much are they asking?”
W – “Only $14,50,000 — a magnificent price… and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover…”
H – “Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid up to $14,20,000. OK?”
W – “OK, sweetie… Thanks! I’ll see you later!! You’re the best Husband in the world. I love you!!!”
H – “Bye… I love you too…”
The man hangs up & closes the phone’s flap.
The other men are looking at him in astonishment and derision.
The husband raises his hand while holding the phone and asks: “Does anyone know who this Cell phone belongs to … ???”
