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Newspapers vs iPad.

Wife wanted newspaper

Wife asks her husband to pass her a newspaper.

He replies, “Newspaper? Are you really that behind reality? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper?  Here, take my iPad instead.”

The wife takes the iPad and uses it to hit a cockroach.

Her husband faints.

An elderly man feared his wife was getting hard of hearing.

So he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked.

The doctor said he could see her in two weeks, but meanwhile, suggested a simple, informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the dimensions of the problem.

“Here’s what you do. Start about 40 feet away from her, and speak in a normal conversational tone and see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

So that evening she’s in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he’s in the living room, and he says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens when I talk to her.”

“Honey, what’s for dinner?”

He calls. No response. So he moves to the other end of the room, about 30 feet away.

“Honey, what’s for dinner?”

No response. So he moves into the dining room, about 20 feet away. He starts shouting.

“HONEY, what’s for dinner?”

No response. On to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away.

“HONEY, what’s for DINNER??”.

No response. So he walks right up behind her and screams:

“HONEY, WHAT’S FOR DINNER??!?!”

His wife turns to him a rage and screams.

“CHICKEN, CHICKEN! For the FIFTH TIME WE’RE HAVING CHICKEN!!!”

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