A city child came running into the farmhouse.
“No wonder that mama pig is so big,” she yelled.
“There’s a bunch of little pigs out there blowing her up!”
There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit, he saw a farmer feeding pigs most extraordinarily.
The farmer would lift a pig to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly.
The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig.
The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment.
Finally, he could not resist telling the farmer, “This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground!”
The farmer looked puzzled and replied, “What’s time to a pig?”
This redneck was parked behind a trailer load of pigs near the zoo in Washington, DC.
As the truck drove away–one of the pigs fell out.
The redneck walked over and picked the pig up and placed it in the front seat of his truck.
He was sitting there looking puzzled when a policeman walked up and asked what was going on.
He told the story and the policeman recommended he take the pig to the zoo.
The redneck was sitting in the same spot the next day with the pig sitting up in the front seat.
The cop said, “didn’t I ask you to take this pig to the zoo?”
The redneck replied, “I did and he liked it so well–today I’m taking him to the movies!”
A farmer brought his daughter a little pot-belly pet pig.
She called it “Stinky” when she played with it out in the yard,
but she called it “Ballpoint” when it was in the sty.
“Tell me,” asked her father, “Why do you have two names for your pig?”
“That’s easy,” she replied, “Ballpoint is just his pen name.”
