Jay is having a bit of trouble seeing things at a distance so he goes into an opticians for an eye test.
The optician asks him to cover his right eye with his left hand and read the letters on the card. Now Jay has always had difficulty telling right from left so the optician says not to worry and to cover his left eye with his left hand and then read the letters on the card but still Jay has problems.
The optician, being a helpful chap, has a brilliant idea and taking a cardboard box, cuts out two small square holes and puts it over Jay’ head with the words, “There, now cover up one of the holes and read the letters on the card through the other hole.”
Jay however bursts into tears and the optician becomes very concerned, takes the box off his head and askes why he’s crying.
Jay replies, “I wanted a metal frame like me brother’s got.”
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Jimmy and Matty, ages 8 and 4, were excessively mischievous.
They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew if any mischief occurred in their town, the two boys were probably involved.
The boys’ mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. The mother sent Matty in the morning, and planned to send Jimmy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, “Do you know where God is, son?”
The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, “Where is God?!”
Again, Matty made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, “Where is God?!”
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, “What happened?”
Matty, gasping for breath, replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time! GOD is missing, and they think WE did it!”
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Two little boys stole a bag of mangoes from their neighbor and decided to go to a calm place to share the loot.
One of them suggested the nearby cemetery. As they were jumping the big gate to enter the cemetery, 2 mangoes fell out of the bag behind the gate but they didn’t bother to pick them since they had enough in the bag.
Few minuets latter a drunkard on his way from a local bar passes near the cemetery gate and heard a voice: “One for me, one for you.”One for me, one for you.”
He immediately sobers up and runs as fast as he can to the local priest.
“Father father please come with me, come and witness God & Satan sharing corpse at the cemetery.”
They both ran back to the cemetery gate and the voice continued: “One for me, one for you, one for me, one for you, one for me, one for you…
Suddenly the voice stop counting and says: “Hey, What about the two at the gate?”
The priest and the drunkard took to their heels shouting, “We are not dead yet… we are not dead yet… we are not dead yet…”
