During the 3rd day in Noah’s ark, the animals can’t hold back any longer and start mating.
The ark starts rocking dangerously and Noah decides to take special emergency measures. Each male animal is issued a card on which its counterpart’s name is inscribed and the date during which they are permitted to mate.
The following day, the monkey approaches his wife and says:
– Be prepared for on the following Tuesday; you will suffer wildly!
The female monkey blushes and is very much embarrassed by her mate’s comments, addressed to her in the presence of all the other animals.
The following day, the monkey reappears and in front of all the other animals addresses his wife:
– A word of caution, be prepared, because on the following Tuesday you will endure a painful treatment!
This goes on for another two days when finally, the female monkey approaches Noah and files her complaint regarding the male monkey’s embarrassing behavior.
Noah summons the male monkey demanding an explanation.
– You complete fool, why must you embarrass your wife in the presence of all the other animals?
– I’m just trying to warn her. She will suffer on Tuesday because I lost my card at a poker game and now the elephant has it.
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.”
She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, because everyone else laughed.
My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.
I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.
He said they love animals very much.
I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal’s office.
I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken..
She sent me back to the principal’s office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.
I don’t understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn’t like it when I am.
Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most.
I told her, “Colonel Sanders”. Guess where I am now…
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.
“I’m not paying,” said the duck. “I’ve only got one bill and I’m not breaking it.”
“I’ve spent my last buck,” said the deer.
“Then the duck’ll have to pay,” said the skunk. “Getting here cost me my last scent.”
