My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings,
“Well Sarah? Do you think you’ll be next?”
We’ve settled this quickly once I’ve started doing the same to them at funerals.
A teacher asked her students to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Martha said, “My family went to the Louisville Zoo, and it was fascinating to see all the animals.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate.’”
Sarita raised her hand. She said, “My family went to the Cincinnati Zoo and I was fascinated by the animals.”
“That’s good, too,” said the teacher, “but I really wanted you to use the word fascinate.”
Little Billy raised his hand.
The teacher hesitated because Billy was noted for his bad language, but surely he couldn’t damage a world like “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Billy said proudly, “My aunt has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her b**bs are so big she can only fasten eight.”
Changing diapers
After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers.
“I’m busy,” he said, “I’ll do the next one.”
The next time came around and she asked again.
The husband looked puzzled. “Oh! I didn’t mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby.“
