An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying.
“Well,” says the old fellow, “I just got married to a twenty-five-year-old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast and then we walk together. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we drink tea together. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we watch TV together
The policeman looks at the old man and says, “You shouldn’t be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!”
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..
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So the old man says, “I know! I’m crying because I don’t remember where I live!”
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are on a ship.
3 women are on a ship that’s run out of fuel
There’s an island in the distance so the brunette decides to make a swim for it. She swims 100 meters but drowns.
The redhead decides to have a go. She swims 500 meters but drowns.
The blonde has no choice.
She gets in the water, swims 1 mile, and gets within 100 meters of the island.
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She cries “I’m too tired, I can’t make it.” And swims back to the ship.