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A Texan in London

A Texan is in London for business and decides to see the sights before he leaves, so he jumps into a taxi and has them show him around.

They drive past Big Ben, and the taxi driver notes it took 15 years to build.

The Texan scoffs at this, “You Brits are so slow! We’d build something twice the size in half the time!”

Next, they swing by the Tower Bridge.

Once again, the driver comments that this impressive landmark was completed in only 8 years, and again the Texan scoffs.

“That bridge is tiny! In Texas, we would have built a much larger bridge in just a year or two.”

A little further on, they drive past Buckingham Palace, but the taxi driver doesn’t comment on it.

Confused, the Texan asks, “What’s that then? I suppose that must have taken you a hundred years to build!”

The taxi driver shakes his head. “Sorry mate, not sure what that one is – wasn’t here yesterday.”

LOL!!

Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!


A Texas Elderly Gentleman Asked A Waiter.

An old man from Texas asked a waiter to bring a bottle of Merlot to an attractive woman.

The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, โ€œThis is from the gentleman seated over there,โ€ indicating the sender.

She considered the wine coldly for a second without looking at the man and decided to send a reply note to the man.

The waiter, who was lingering for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

The note read, “For me to accept this bottle, you must have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 i-n.ches in your pants.”

After reading the note, the Texan decided to compose one of his own in return.

He folded the note, handed it to the waiter, and instructed him to return this to the woman.

It read: “For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600, a Porsche Turbo, a Toyota Prius, and a Matrix in my garage, beautiful homes in Aspen, Colorado, and Miami, and a 10,000-acre ranch in Texas. There are over twenty million dollars in my bank account. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut three i-n.ches off. Just send the bottle back!!!”

LOL!!

Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!

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