A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman.
The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky.
The Englishman was glad to have a drink. “Go on,” said the Scot, “have another drink.”
The Englishman drank gratefully. “But don’t you want one, too?” he asked the Scotsman.
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..
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“Perhaps,” replied the Scotsman, “after the police have gone.”
Bob walks into a bar and sees a Cute Dog.
Bob walks into a bar and sits next to a man who has a dog next to him.
He says to the man, “Has your dog ever bitten anyone?”
The man replies, “No” but then the dog jumps up and bites Bob on the arm.
“I thought you said your dog’s never bitten anyone!” shouts Bob.
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The man says, “I know. That’s not my dog.”