A Newfoundlander goes into a Tim Horton’s in Gander, NL and notices there’s a “Roll Up The Rim To Win” Contest going on.
So, he rolls it up and starts screaming, “I’ve won a motor home! I’ve won a motor home!”
The girl at the counter says, “That’s impossible. The biggest prize is a car.”
But he keeps on screaming, “I’ve won a motor home! I’ve won a motor home!”
Finally, the manager comes over and says, “I’m sorry, but you’re mistaken. You couldn’t have possibly won a motor home because we didn’t have that as a prize!”
He says, “No, it’s not a mistake. I’ve won a motor home!”
The Newfoundlander hands the cup to the manager and HE reads: “W I N A B A G E L”
Two guys were roaring down a country road on a motorcycle when the driver slowed up and pulled over.
His leather jacket had a broken zipper, and he told his friend, “I can’t drive anymore with the air hitting me in the chest like that.”
“Just put the jacket on backwards,” his friend advised.
They continued down the road but around the next bend, they lost control and wiped out.
A nearby farmer came upon the accident and ran to call the police.
They asked him, “Are they showing any signs of life?”
“Well,” the farmer explained, “the driver was until I turned his head around the right way!”
Once upon a time there was an archery contest.
The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position. He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow which finds the center of the target.
Then he takes of his cape and screams: I AM……. ROBIN HOOD!!!
The crowd cheers!
The second archer with a cape lines up in position. He fires his arrow which hits the center and cuts robin hood’s arrow into two!
He takes off his cape and screams: I AM…… WILLIAM TELL!!!!
The crowd cheers!!!
Finally, a third man in cape lines up in position. He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!!! It flies past the crowd and k*lls the king!!!
Then the man takes off his cape and screams: I AM…… SORRY!!!
