A husband and wife sat down at their table at a coffee shop in New York City.
The wife saw a pretty young woman sitting at a table and wearing the most gorgeous pair of shoes she’s ever seen.
“I’d love to know where that lady got those shoes,” she said to her husband. “Maybe I should ask her.”
The husband raises a hand. “Allow me, my love.”
The wife beams at him. “What a gentleman! Thanks, sweetie.”
The husband walked over to the young woman and asked, “Where did you get those shoes?”
“I got them in a store just around the corner from here,” replied the woman.
“Nice. How much were they?”
“Oh, around 500 dollars.”
“Thanks for letting me know.”
The husband returned to his table and said to his wife, “She got her shoes in Los Angeles.”
Couple in 5-star restaurant
A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant.
When their food arrived, the husband said: “Our food has arrived! Let’s eat!”
His wife reminded him: “Honey, you always say your prayers at home before your dinner!”
Her husband replied: “That’s at home, my dear. Here the chef knows how to cook…”
At a dinner party,
the speaker who was the guest of honour was about to deliver his speech when his wife, who was sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word “KISS” scribbled on it.
A guest seated next to the speaker said, “It looks like your wife has sent you a kiss for good luck. She must love you very much.”
The speaker replied, “You don’t know my wife.
The letters stand for “Keep it short, stupid.”
John brought his new colleague, Peter, home for dinner.
As they arrived at the door his wife rushed up, threw her arms around John and kissed him passionately.
“My goodness,” said Peter, “and how long have you been married?”
“22 years,” replied John.
“You must have a fantastic marriage if your wife greets you like that after all those years.”
“Don’t be fooled! She only does it to make the dog jealous.”
A husband said to his wife, “Honey, I have invited a friend home for supper tonight.”
His wife replied, “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn’t have time to go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal tonight!”
The husband said, “I know all that.”
“Then why in the world did you invite your friend for supper tonight?” asked the wife.
The guy answered, “Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.”
