The staff at the office where my wife works was hosting a farewell luncheon for a retiring colleague.
As the group prepared to go to the restaurant, they found that they couldn’t fit the giant balloon they had purchased for the guest of honor into the car.
Determined to bring it along, they simply held the balloon out the window as they drove to the luncheon location.
However they weren’t prepared for the glares and dirty looks they were getting from pedestrians and adjoining cars at every intersection.
As the long line of traffic in front of their vehicle began to turn, they discovered that their car was right behind a long funeral procession.
There was really nothing they could do but hold on to the balloon with its large farewell message:
“GONE, BUT NOT FORGOTTEN”
The other night I was invited out for a night with the girls. I told my husband that I would be home by midnight.
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 AM, a bit loaded, I headed home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and ‘cuckooed’ three times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I ‘cuckooed’ another NINE times.
I was proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, to escape a possible conflict with him. The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him, “Midnight.”
He didn’t seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one!
Then he said, “But we need a new clock.”
When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, ‘Oh, shit.’ Cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table.”
A well-respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work.
As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.
“We need a fourth for poker,” said the friend.
“I’ll be right over,” whispered the doctor.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, “Is it serious?”
“Oh yes, quite serious,” said the doctor gravely. “In fact, three doctors are there already!”
