A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about his employee’s well-being, asks sympathetically, “What’s the matter?”
The blonde replies, “Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.”
“I’m terribly sorry to hear that. Why don’t you go home for the day… we aren’t busy, just take the day off to relax and rest.”
The blonde very calmly explains, “No, I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.”
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. “If you need anything, just let me know,” he says.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, “Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?”
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..
.
“No,” replies the blonde, “I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!”
A mother stops his son from shoving candy into his face
A boy is shoving candy into his face when his mom yells at him to stop.
“Don’t eat so much candy all at once!”
“Why?” the boy replied.
“If you eat too much candy, your stomach will get bigger, and bigger, and it will eventually explode!”
The boy is shocked by this image and immediately stops eating candy.
The next day, the boy and mom go to church together, and the boy sits down next to a very visibly pregnant woman.
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..
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The boy looks at her stomach, then up to her face, and says, “I know what you’ve been doing.”
