A thriving baseball club is one of the features of a boy’s organization connected with a prominent church.
The team was recently challenged by a rival club. The pastor gave a special contribution of five dollars to the captain, with the direction that the money should be used to buy bats, balls, gloves, or anything else that might help to win the game.
On the day of the game, the pastor was somewhat surprised to observe nothing new in the club’s paraphernalia. He called the captain to him. “I don’t see any new bats, or balls, or gloves,” he said.
“We haven’t anything like that,” the captain admitted.
“But I gave you five dollars to buy them,” the pastor exclaimed.
“Well, you see,” came the explanation, “you told us to spend it for bats, or balls, or gloves, or anything that we thought might help to win the game, so we gave it to the umpire.”
A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game.
For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well.
As the National Anthem started….the doctor yelled, “Up Nuts” and the patients complied by standing up.
After the anthem …he yelled, “Down Nuts”. And they all sat back down in their seats.
After a home run was hit, the doctor yelled, “Cheer Nuts.” They all broke out into applause and cheered.
When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the star of the home team, the Doctor yelled, “Booooo Nuts!!!” and they all started booing and cat calling.
Thinking things were going very well. The doctor decided to go get a soda and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he returned, there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, the doctor asked, “What in the world happened?”
The assistant replied, “Well, everything was going just fine until a vendor passed by and yelled, ‘PEANUTS!'”
