One morning, seventy-five-year-old Marvin arrives at work and is promptly reminded by his secretary that today is his wife’s birthday.
At lunch, he heads to the mall in search of the perfect gift. But as he browses, he realizes that after all these years, his wife has everything she could possibly need. Just as he’s about to give up, he passes a lingerie store and has an idea—his wife has never owned anything like this before!
Determined to make her feel young and beautiful, Marvin walks in and tells the sales clerk, “Give me the most expensive, sheerest negligee you’ve got—and wrap it up fancy.”
With his exciting purchase in hand, Marvin rushes home. Finding his wife in the kitchen, he hands her the package and says, “Go upstairs, unwrap this, and put it on. I’ll wait down here.”
His wife, touched by the gesture, takes the gift and heads to the bedroom. When she opens the box, she’s surprised—it’s so sheer it’s practically invisible! She thinks for a moment, then decides to really surprise Marvin. Why bother with the negligee at all? She leaves it on the bed and confidently walks downstairs stark n.a.k3d.
“Marvin,” she calls out, “come to the hallway and take a look!”
Marvin steps out, looks up at his wife standing at the top of the stairs, and gasps. Then he shakes his head and mutters, “All that money… and they didn’t even iron it.”
LOL!!
A happily married couple had only one major issue in their relationship
This story doesn’t make you cry laughing, let me know—I’ll say a prayer for you.
A happily married couple had only one major issue in their relationship: the husband’s morning routine of farting like a foghorn.
Every day, his wife would wake up to the thunderous blasts, gasping for air as the noxious fumes made her eyes water.
“Please, for the love of all things holy, STOP!” she begged him daily.
“I can’t help it,” he’d say. “It’s totally natural!”
She warned him, “One day, you’re going to blow your guts out.”
The years rolled by, and so did his morning explosions. Then came Christmas morning. As the wife was preparing the turkey, she stared at the pile of innards—gizzard, liver, neck, and all—and a brilliantly wicked idea struck her.
She crept upstairs, where her husband was still snoozing, gently pulled back the covers, and ever so carefully tipped the entire bowl of turkey guts into his underwear before tucking him back in.
A while later, the house shook with his usual morning eruption—only this time, it was followed by a bloodcurdling scream. The sound of frantic footsteps pounded toward the bathroom.
The wife collapsed on the floor, laughing so hard she could barely breathe.
Twenty minutes later, the husband emerged, pale as a ghost, in his now blood-streaked underwear. His face was a mask of horror.
Trying to keep a straight face, his wife asked, “What happened?”
He gulped. “Honey… you were right. All these years, you warned me, but I never listened.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, barely holding it together.
“Well… it finally happened. I farted my guts out.”
He shuddered, then added, “But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers… I think I got most of them back in.”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
