Jim and Linda, a married couple in their late 50s, had been together for over 30 years.
One day, they decided to attend a community event where a tech company was demonstrating their latest invention: a lie detector robot that slaps you if you lie.
The host was showing it off on stage.
Host: “Ask it any question. If you lie, it’ll give you a little tap.”
Jim nudged Linda. “This might be good for the house. Imagine settling arguments without yelling—just one robotic slap to truth.”
Linda raised an eyebrow. “Great idea. Why don’t you try it first?”
They signed up for a demo. The robot was placed on a table. The audience gathered.
Host: “Alright, Jim. Let’s start with an easy question. What did you do yesterday after work?”
Jim cleared his throat. “I went to the office… stayed late… worked on reports…”
SLAP.
The crowd gasped. Jim rubbed his cheek. “Okay, okay. I went to the bar with Mike.”
Linda glared. “You said you quit drinking.”
Jim straightened up. “I only had one beer.”
SLAP.
“Fine! It was five beers and a plate of wings, happy now?”
Linda crossed her arms. “Let’s test it on me.”
Host: “Sure! Linda, what do you think of Jim’s cooking?”
Linda smiled sweetly. “Oh, I love it. Especially his grilled fish.”
SLAP.
“Okay, the fish is dry. Like eating a sandal. But I love him for trying.”
The audience roared with laughter. The host continued.
Host: “Jim, your turn again. Ever lie to Linda about money?”
Jim hesitated. “Never.”
SLAP.
He winced. “Okay, I may have told her the TV was on sale.”
SLAP.
“Alright, alright! I told her it was a gift from work. It wasn’t. I just wanted surround sound for the game.”
Linda smirked. “I knew work wasn’t giving out 75-inch TVs.”
Now it was Linda’s turn again.
Host: “Linda, have you ever pretended to be asleep to avoid… romantic time?”
Linda laughed awkwardly. “No, never.”
SLAP.
She sighed. “Okay, yes. But just once!”
SLAP.
“Fine! Twice a week during football season.”
Jim threw his arms up. “That explains so much!”
At the end of the demo, the host smiled. “So—would you like to take one home?”
Jim and Linda looked at each other. Then at the robot. Then back at each other.
Jim said, “You know what? We’ve survived 30 years without a lie detector. If we brought that thing home, it’d file for divorce.”
Linda nodded. “We don’t need a robot to slap us. We’ve got each other for that.”
And they walked off hand in hand—bickering lovingly about who lied more.
An elderly couple, Martha and Bert, are sitting on their porch rocking chairs
An elderly couple, Martha and Bert, are sitting on their porch rocking chairs, watching the sunset.
Martha turns to Bert and says, “You know, Bert, I’m proud of you. You’ve always been such a loving husband.”
Bert squints and says, “What’s that?”
Martha repeats, a little louder, “I said I’m proud of you. You’ve always been such a loving husband.”
Bert nods and says, “Well, I’m tired of you too!”
Martha huffs rolls her eyes, and mutters, “I swear, Bert, if your hearing gets any worse, I’m just going to start talking about you instead of to you.”
Bert grins and says, “Already do that, dear. You just don’t know it.”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
