Two Russian hunters meet.
“I shot a gigantic bear yesterday,” says Ivan. “Look at the hide!”
“How do you find such huge bears?” Sergei asks.
“Easy,” says Ivan. “You stand in front of a cave and whistle. When the bear comes out, you shoot.”
Weeks later the two meet again. Sergei is covered in bandages.
“Didn’t you follow my advice?” Ivan asks.
“Sure, I did. I stood, in front of a cave and whistled,” Sergei replies.
“And what came out?
“To me,” says Sergei, “it looked like the Trans-Siberian Express.
A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita.
They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks.
Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word.
The grandmother is thinking to herself, “It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I’m glad she slapped him.”
The Project manager is sitting there thinking, “I didn’t know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn’t missed him when she slapped me!”
The young woman was sitting and thinking, “I’m glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!”
The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, “Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project manager all at the same time!”
A man goes on a trip to the desert.
At one point, he walks off alone, and suddenly stumbles upon an old lamp. It’s old but may bring a few bits, he rubs the lamp and is amazed when a genie pops out!
The genie says that he will grant the man only one wish, and that he has to pick from three choices. He can either be the richest man in the world, the most popular man in the world, or the wisest man in the world.
The man says “We all know that money does not bring happiness, and that popularity just makes you a slave to the whims of others, but wisdom is everlasting. I want to be the wisest man in the world.”
The Genie goes “poof” and suddenly the man’s face assumes a serene expression. He sits down, rubbing his chin in thought.
Then he looks towards the genie and says, “I should have taken the money”.
