The Captain called the Sergeant in.
“Sarge, I just got a telegram that Smith’s mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me.”
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. “Listen up, men,” says the Sergeant. “Johnson report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Smith, your mother died, report to the commander.”
Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. “Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Smith his mother died. Couldn’t you be a bit more tactful, next time?”
“Yes, sir,” answered the Sarge.
A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, “Sarge, I just got a telegram that James mother died. You’d better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful.”
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. “Ok, men, fall in and listen up.”
“Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward.”
“Not so fast, James!”
An Uber is cruising down a boulevard when it runs a red light.
“Hey!” the passenger shouts. “Be careful!”
“Don’t worry,” says the driver. “My brother does it all the time.”
He barrels through the next red light, and the passenger screams, “Stop doing that!”
“I’m telling you, my brother does this all the time.”
They approach the next light. Just when it turns green, the driver slams on the brakes. The confused passenger asks, “You just ran two red lights; why’d you stop at a green?”
“I had to,” says the driver. “My brother might have been coming.”
During a simulated attack, the troops have to defend themselves against an imaginary enemy, as the sergeant calls it.
Bawling out orders, he notices that one recruit shows little response.
“You there,” the sergeant shouts, “the imaginary enemy is advancing, and you are caught in the crossfire. Action!”
The recruit takes ten steps to one side.
“What are you doing, man?” yells the sergeant, purple with fury.
“I’m taking shelter behind an imaginary hill,” answers the recruit calmly.
