I was swiping through a d.ating app and matched with someone who didn’t have a profile picture.
Desperate for a change, I decided to take a chance and meet her.
I wasn’t expecting much, maybe someone a little rough around the edges, but when I arrived, I was floored. She was stunning: 5’2″, baby blue eyes, strawberry blonde hair, and all the right curves.
Impressed, I asked what she did for a living. “I teach Sunday school,” she said.
I’d never dated a Christian girl before, but I was intrigued. On the drive to dinner, I lit a c.i.garette and asked if she cared for one.
“Oh, heavens no,” she replied, “What would I tell my Sunday school children?”
Fair enough, I thought. Some people s.moke, some don’t.
At the restaurant, I ordered steak, she got lobster, and I requested the second-most expensive bottle of wine on the menu. When the wine arrived, she declined a glass.
“You don’t drink?” I asked, surprised.
She shook her head. “Oh, heavens no, what would I tell my Sunday school children?”
The dinner and conversation were amazing, but I couldn’t quite figure her out. On the drive home, I passed a cheap m.otel and figured, why not take a chance?
“Want to get a r.oom and f.ool around?” I asked nervously.
She winked and said, “I thought you’d never ask!”
Surprised, I laughed and teased, “Really? What are you going to tell your Sunday school children about this?”
She grinned mischievously and said, “The same thing I tell them every week: You don’t have to s.moke or drink to have a good time!”
A married couple is driving along a highway
A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour.
The husband is behind the wheel.
His wife suddenly looks across at him and speaks in a clear voice. “I know we have been married for over twenty years, but I want a divorce.”
The husband says nothing.
He keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases his speed to 45mph.
The wife speaks again. “I don’t want you to try to talk me out of it.”
She says, “Because I’ve been having an affair with your best friend, and he is a far better lover than you are.”
Again the husband stays quiet but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55mph.
She pushes her luck.
“I want a house.” She says insistently.
Up to 60 mph.
“I want the car, too.” She continues.
65mph.
“And,” she says, “I’ll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards, and the boat!”
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.
This makes her nervous, so she asks him, “Isn’t there anything you want?”
The husband at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.
“No, I’ve got everything I need, ” he says.
“Oh, really,” she inquires. “So what have you got?”
Just before they slam into the wall at 65mph, the husband turns to her and smiles.
“The airbag!”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
