A husband desperate to end an argument offers to buy his wife a new car.
She curtly declines his offer by saying, “That’s not quite what I had in mind.”
Frantically he offers her a new house. Again she rejects his offer, “That’s not quite what I had in mind.”
Curious, he asks: “What did you have in mind?”
She retorts, “I’d like a divorce.”
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..
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He answers, “I hadn’t planned on spending quite that much.”
Bob walks into a bar and see a Dog.
Bob walks into a bar and sits next to a man who has a dog next to him.
He says to the man, “Has your dog ever bitten anyone?”
The man replies, “No” but then the dog jumps up and bites Bob on the arm.
“I thought you said your dog’s never bitten anyone!” shouts Bob.
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..
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The man says, “I know. That’s not my dog.”
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