Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.
“I’m not paying,” said the duck. “I’ve only got one bill and I’m not breaking it.”
“I’ve spent my last buck,” said the deer.
“Then the duck’ll have to pay,” said the skunk. “Getting here cost me my last scent.”
Once there were three turtles.
One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda.
The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn’t eat the sandwiches until he got back.
A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, “Oh, come on, let’s eat the sandwiches.”
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, “If you do, I won’t go!”
Two drunks are walking along.
One drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night, look at the moon.”
The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend. “You’re wrong, that’s not the moon, that’s the sun.”
They began to argue when they come upon another drunk. They asked, “Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that’s shining.
Is it the moon or the sun?”
The third drunk looked at the sky and said, “Sorry, I don’t live around here.”
Koala: What do you mean, I’m not a bear? I have all the koalafications.
Elephant: Your koalafications are completely irrelephant.
Lion: Don’t listen to him! He’s lion!
Bear: This arguing is becoming unbearable!
A skunk and a rabbit were running through the woods and accidentally they collided with each other.
They both got amnesia from the crash.
“Who am I? What am I?” said the rabbit confused.
“Well, you’re one such… with a short tail, long ears…”
“I guess!” shouted the rabbit, “I’m a rabbit!”
“And what am I?” asked the skunk.
“Ah! Yes. You’re one such hairy, smelly, with a strip in the middle…”
“Wow!”, yelled the skunk, “Probably I’m an ass!”
