A panda walks into a bar. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a g…u….n and fi…r….es two s…h..o…ts in the air.
“Why? Why are you behaving in this strange, un-panda-like fashion?” asks the confused waiter, as the panda walks towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
“I’m a panda,” he says, at the door. “Look it up.”
The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.
…
..
.
“Panda: Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots, and leaves.”
A seven-year-old girl came home and told her mom
A seven-year-old girl came home and told her mom, “A boy in my class asked me to play doctor.”
“Oh no, honey. What happened?”
…
..
.
“Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company.”
