A deaf old lady went to the doctor to find out whether there was any risk of her getting pre..gn..ant again.
He told her, “Mrs. Marx, you’re seventy-five. Whilst one can never rule out an act of God, if you were to have a baby it would be a miracle.”
When she got home, her husband asked her what the doctor had said.
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“I didn’t quite catch it all,” she admitted, “but it sounded a bit fishy; something about an act of cod, and if I had a baby it would be a mackerel.”
An old lady gives a boy some nuts
One day, I was sitting on the bus just reading a book when somebody tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and saw an old lady.
She said to me, “Sonny, would you like some nuts? I’ve got a couple of hazelnuts and almonds if you’d like.”
“Sure.”, I replied.
Then she gave me a handful of nuts then she went back to sit with her friends.
“What a nice lady”, I thought
A few minutes later, I felt another tap on my shoulder and there she was again with a lot of nuts.
After about 10 minutes, she tapped me on the shoulder, once again offering some nuts.
It was a little bit weird so I asked her:
“Why don’t you eat them yourself?”
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“Because we’ve got no teeth”, she replied.
“Then why do you buy them?”, I asked.
“Oh, because we just love the chocolate around them.”
