One day a blonde went the doctor with a burn on her stomach.
The doctor gasped and asked what happened.
The blonde told the doctor she put a lighter against her stomach.
The doctor asked her why in the world she would do that.
The blond said “I was trying to burn calories.”
One day a blond walks into a doctor’s office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asks her what had happened. She says, “Well… when I was ironing my work suit, the phone rang and I mistakenly picked up the iron, instead of the phone.
“Well, that explains one ear, but what about the other?”
“The idiot called again!”
A blonde holding a baby walks into a drug store
and asks the clerk if she can use the stores baby scale.
“Sorry, ma’am,” says the clerk. “Our baby scale is broken. But we can figure the baby’s weight if we weigh mother and baby together on the adult scale, and then weigh the mother alone, and subtract the second number from the first.”
“Oh, that won’t work,” says the blonde.
“Why not?” asks the clerk.
“Because,” she answers, “I’m not the mother – I’m the aunt.”
The blonde wife came home from her first day commuting into the city.
Her husband noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, “Honey, are you feeling all right?”
“Not really,” she replied. “I’m nauseated from sitting backward on the train.”
“Poor dear,” he said. “Why didn’t you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?”
“I couldn’t,” she replied, “there was no one there.”
