Two guys are out hiking. All of a sudden, at a distance, they see a hungry-looking bear running towards them.
They look around but there’s nothing to climb. The first guy gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on.
“What are you doing?” asks the second guy in panic.
“I figure I’ll make a run for it.”
“Are you crazy? You can’t outrun a bear!”
“I don’t have to outrun the bear.” Says the first hiker, “I just need to outrun YOU.”
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Sally goes to work one morning crying her eyes out.
The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
The Farmer and the Pig Food
A government man approaches a pig farmer and asks him what he feeds his pigs.
The farmer answers: “Oh the pigs? I just feed them whatever scraps I have lying around”.
He is surprised “Sir that is too bad for these pigs! I’ll have to fine you $10,000!”
The next day another official approach the farmer and asks him what he feeds his pigs.
The farmer replies: “Oh the pigs? do not worry! Caviar, artisanal cheeses, and hand-picked salads!”
He is surprised “Sir, that food is way too rich for them, they’ll get sick! I’ll have to fine you $10,000!”
On the third day, another man approaches the farmer again and asks him what he feeds his pigs.
The farmer answers: “Oh the pigs? I just give them 20 bucks each and let them shop themselves.
