A plane takes off with two hours delay.
Once in the air a passenger asks the flight attendant:
“Why did we take off so late?”
To which the flight attendant replies:
“Well, the pilot noticed some smoke and weird noises coming from the left engine and it took us a while to find another pilot willing to fly this plane.”
A fighter pilot finishes refueling from a refueling plane.
The fighter pilot, feeling superior, gets on the radio and tells the refueling pilot to watch this.
The fighter pilot goes through an array of aerial acrobatics. Tight twists, loops, and s-curves. He gets back on the radio and tells the refueling pilot he must be jealous because his plane can’t do that.
The refueling pilot says, “Oh yeah, watch this!”
For the next 10 minutes the refueling plane flew straight as an arrow. Then the pilot got on the radio and said, “Did you see that?”
The fighter pilot, confused, said, “You just flew straight. That’s not fun.”
The refueling pilot said, “No, I got up and went to the bathroom and grabbed my steak off the stove and had dinner.”
A man went to the doctor and said that he hadn’t been feeling very well recently.
The doctor examined the man, and prescribed three kinds of pills.
The doctor said, “Take the green one with a big glass of water when you wake up. Take the blue one with a big glass of water after you eat lunch. Then just before bed, take the red one with another big glass of water.
The man, astounded that he had to take so much medicine, stammered, “Jeez Doc, exactly what is my problem?”
The doctor replied, “You aren’t drinking enough water.”
